Precious Water

Surprisingly, the most difficult part of our recent home-buying experience might just be setting up our water account. It shouldn’t be that difficult, especially because the water is already working! I called to ask the company simply to transfer the account to our name. I thought that since we were just crazy enough to volunteer to give them money every month (on time, of course), they would gladly take my contact information and be done with it. But, they said I needed to supply copies of just a few things: my ID card, my social security card, the deed to the house, my 5th grade report card (will they care that I got a “B” in art?), and my high school yearbook photo (yes, the one with the braces). And, that doesn’t include the 5-page application form! They know all about us now. Our driver’s license numbers, our phone numbers, our lucky lotto numbers, the last 3 years worth of addresses (only about 5 different locations), jobs we’ve had (including my depressing summer job at a souvenir store in Florida and Husband’s boring stint as a grocery bagger), my shoe size, and the number of readers on my blog (3 - my parents; and Husband, since he can’t escape and I force him to read it). I’m not sure if this act is supposed to make them want to give us water, or a hug (mainly for my ugly braces phase and the lame jobs we once held). Regardless, Husband and I have about a dozen moves between us, and I never remember a water company being this particular. Is there something I’m missing? Is water the newest commodity on the black market? Psst…hey you. Yes you. I can get you a good deal on water. Yeah, the good stuff. Just bring a bucket and the cash to the backside of our house. Come alone. Tonight. I’ll hook you up. I’m convinced that something good will come of this. Besides running water in our home, of course. Maybe we’ll get rich selling water on the black market, or maybe I’ll just take a long hot bath in our hard-earned H2O to relax and forget the whole thing.