Saturday, June 21, 2008
1) Thank you to every single person who left an encouraging comment about my exam. I read (and re-read!) all the comments, and I immediately felt calmer and uplifted. So, thank you for your kindness and support! 2) I learned something really important through this test-taking experience. (Besides that a peanut butter sandwich makes an excellent pre-test snack...) The night before the test I started to go through another bout of worry and nerves. Then I realized that worry was the product of looking at the situation negatively. Worry meant that I was looking at the situation as a chance to fail. Instead, why not look at it as a chance to succeed? I usually try to look at the positive side of situations in my regular (non-academic) life, so why wouldn’t I treat this situation the same? That switch of mindset definitely helped me. I still got a few nervous jitters before the test, but I felt much better. 3) So, yesterday morning I sat with the test in front of me and I took a deep breath. I collected my thoughts and dove into the essays, scribbling (hopefully legibly) as fast as I could. So far, so good, I thought. And then the lights went out. I sat in a completely dark and windowless room, ready to panic. Will my test be disqualified? Is there a flashlight near me? Am I allowed to scream like a girl in the testing room?? Then the lights came back on. Thankfully, they stayed on the rest of the time, and everything else went ok. But, it’s an experience I’d rather not repeat anytime in the near future. It was 6 hours total (with a lunch break between the morning and afternoon sessions) and 4 essays. I wrote 25 full pages until my hand was sore and cramping. 4) I feel so relieved that the test is finished. I'll find out how I did in a few weeks. I still have 4 more weeks of class work, but I don’t think any of it will compare to the exam. Hopefully, the only hard part will be deciding which restaurant to celebrate at when it’s graduation time.