Santa is Held Captive!

Last night our commander’s wife hosted a Christmas social for all of the spouses. She made a full sit-down dinner for all of us. I was totally amazed because: a) there were a LOT of us, and she managed to feed us all, with plenty leftover, b) the food was all homemade and absolutely delicious, right down to the melt-in-your-mouth dinner rolls, c) she somehow was able to make this dinner while also taking care of her five children, and d) she appeared totally calm, and not once did I see her crying in the corner (which is how I probably would have handled the stress of such an event). Part of the festivities included an ornament exchange. I gave my friend a ride home last night, and this morning I noticed she left her Santa ornament in my car. I could have simply called her to tell her that she forgot it. (But what fun is that?) Instead, I had “Santa” send an e-mail to her, in which he pleads for her to take him home: Subject: It’s Me, Santa. Please Save Me! I was so excited you chose me last night. My wish was coming true after so long... I finally would fulfill my duties as a Christmas Ornament (C.O.), and I would be displayed on a real Christmas tree! I had been waiting for this moment my whole life! My excitement soon turned to disappointment and terror when you left me in a cold, dark car last night. I was scared and alone, and my little heart was broken. Would I ever escape? Would I ever see my Christmas tree home? And most importantly, would there be a Christmas without me, Santa?? I managed to flee the vehicle, and I found this computer, where I'm writing this message. I'm attaching a picture of myself for proof. Please save me…if not for my sake, for the sake of Christmas and children all around the world. (No pressure.) love, Santa P.S. HO HO HO I know that Santa will make his way home. It might be through the magic of Christmas…or because I’m a big softie, and I make the worst hostage-taker.