Hide your breakables

I always joke that I’m a klutz, but the events of the last few days leave little doubt. Most of the events involve my klutziness trying to sabotage our new house, despite all of my best efforts to keep the house in pristine condition. Event #1: We hadn’t even been here a full 24 hours before I filled up an entire drinking glass, and then, two minutes later, spilled all of its contents on our brand new carpeting. Thankfully, the glass was full of water, so there were no stains. Evidence: None. Phew. Event#2: A couple days ago, I reached for the container of salt in our kitchen cabinet, and I accidentally knocked a small glass jar out of the cabinet. It fell with a bang onto our new kitchen counter, making a small dent in the counter. Husband tried to reassure me that it was no big deal, but I kept staring at the counter, in disbelief of the new gouge and my old klutziness. Evidence: (Sigh) A small gouge in our otherwise perfect countertop. Event #3: We had a stack of items that we wanted to throw away, with the large broken mirror on top. I attempted to maneuver around the pile o’ junk, but instead I ran right into it. My shin bore the brunt of the force. Evidence: A pink and purple bruise on my shin. Event #4: I am almost embarrassed to recount this event. If it hadn’t really happened to me, I wouldn’t even believe that something like this is even possible. Ok, so I woke up last night for one of my nightly bathroom trips. (Keep in mind that we’ve been in this house nearly two full weeks, and I’ve made many bathroom trips without incident.) I stumbled in a sleepy state to the bathroom, and I walk into where I think the doorway of the bathroom is. Except that I completely misjudged, only to discover my error as I run right into the wall! In the process, I stubbed my toe and hit my head. Evidence: A very small (but thankfully not-too-noticeable) bruise near my left eyebrow. The wall remained unharmed, though. So, for all of these reasons, I understand if you’ll want to hide your breakables when I come to visit. In fact, it might be for the best – for both your breakables and for my bruised body.