Turkey Cooking School

A few weeks ago, Husband asked me what our plans were going to be for Thanksgiving. I hadn’t really given it much thought before he asked. I knew that we didn’t have any family that was planning to join us, so I told him that we’d probably just have our own little celebration. Maybe we’d even invite another couple or two. We even talked about the potential menu we’d want. It all sounded great, until I realized a very scary thought: I’d have to cook the turkey! And I have no idea how to cook a turkey! My only vague recollections of turkey-cooking have come from watching my parents. And apparently I was more consumed by the, well, consuming of the turkey than the actual cooking of it. I only really remember that it involves getting up early and what sounds like a very complicated mathematical equation involving cooking hours and the turkey weight. I panicked and called my mom. “Help! How am I ever going to cook a turkey? On the most important eating-day of the year??” “Don’t worry,” she said. “It’s easy. Really. Once you make it, you’ll realize how easy it is.” Forgive me, but I was still skeptical. Especially since she kept emphasizing how “easy” it is. (“So easy!” “It’s easy!”) I’m practically an expert on not being able to figure out “easy” things. (Just like my desk-assembling disaster.) And I cringe inside whenever someone gives me directions and they say, “You can’t miss it!” Because, trust me, I’ll miss it. But, Uncle Sam unknowingly intervened. Husband recently found out that he will be TDY (away on military duty) around the time of Thanksgiving. We decided that the most convenient option for Thanksgiving would be to visit family. I’m excited about it. (And not just because it postpones my solo turkey-cooking for another year.) I think my mom is excited, too. In fact, I just got an e-mail from her this morning about Thanksgiving. At the bottom of the e-mail, she wrote: “P.S. Guess you will have turkey cooking school. :)” Sign me up. I’m ready to learn. But only if I’m allowed to boast afterwards about how easy it is.