Thursday, July 17, 2008

Scorpion saga

It’s funny that one scorpion, a creature that is slightly smaller than a business card, could have such an effect on our lives. Here are a few other amusing developments on the scorpion saga. (Yes, I felt it was important enough to warrant the dramatic name of “saga.”) - Yesterday I set off to complete my top priority of buying scorpion spray. I sadly found that there is no spray exclusively for scorpions. (The roaches and ants clearly have a near-monopoly on the bug spray market.) - Yet, I found a helpful clerk in the hardware store who recommended another all-purpose spray that should prevent scorpions, which I ended up buying. The conversation between us was quite funny. Me: “Hi, I’m looking for scorpion spray.” [Notice that I censored what I really wanted to say, which was “I want some spray that is going to make scorpions die a miserable, painful death!”] Clerk: “Have you seen scorpions in your home?” Me: “Oh yes. In fact, one stung me in the middle of the night.” Clerk: “It stung you? You mean, it was actually in your bed?” Me, with a smile: “Oh yes. It was on my pillow.” The clerk seemed shocked, if not slightly impressed. And I was satisfied that if I had to ordeal such a traumatic experience, at least I could walk away with such a compelling tale. - We have temporarily moved our bed! Our bed, specifically my side of the bed, was directly under the vent, which apparently is scorpion highway. Until we (and by “we,” I mean “Husband”) can put a screen under the vent, the bed will remain in its new, temporary spot. - We have not seen a single scorpion, or anything resembling a scorpion, since the incident. But that did not prevent us from thinking that every noise or movement last night might be a potential scorpion. Before we fell asleep, we actually turned on the lights once to inspect a noise that could have been a scorpion, but was actually just our imagination. Apparently we have very active imaginations. (And, in this case, by “we,” I mean “I.”) - The military information network is clearly alive – and fast! Before Husband came home from work, I already had one telephone inquiry from a concerned military wife. (“Are you ok?? I heard you were stung by a scorpion!”) She must have heard it from a guy my Husband works with, who told his wife, who then told this woman. - I’m grateful that my finger feels completely fine. But, I have to admit that I feel almost a little bit of dismay that there is absolutely no wound or mark from the sting. What good is a war story without even as much as a little scar? It makes the show and tell a little less satisfying. But, I’m not complaining. - I can safely delay any future aspirations I ever had of taking up surfing. Between the pit bulls and the scorpion, I’m just not ready for a “Jaws” moment.

7 comments:

Reynie said...

OMG! I have just read your entire scorpion saga and let me just say--WOW! You're a survivor! So very scary!

Kel said...

Glad your finger is feeling much better today and yes, the military information highway does move at light speed (only the military doesn't) hehe

~K

Jenna said...

Wow! You have the most tramatic things happen! I'm so sorry! (I do have to admit that I love reading your scary adventures - you are such a great writer!)

Reynie said...

Just had to come back and let you know that last night I woke up once and started to think of your scorpion saga! I had to turn on the light and look around to make sure my area was scorpion free!

New Girl on Post said...

You seriously make me laugh everytime I read more about this scorpion saga!

I think you should be a comedic writer. Seriously!

Angela said...

Oh my gosh! I hope all the scorpions are gone now...

wendy said...

yipes! I do not love bugs. I'm sorry you got stung.

Last week at camp, one of the girls felt something crawling on her arm...so she grabbed it and it bit? stung? her. This caused all manner of screaming and running and crying at 2am.

We had to search the tent for the giant centipede and then one of the girls killed it by cutting it into a few pieces. Ew! They all ended up sleeping in the adult tent that night.

I hate bugs!