Lost: Master's Degree

A few months ago, my University rep asked for my mailing address, so she could send me my diploma. I’d been waiting for this moment for a long time. I was excited (almost giddy) to finally see the proof that I actually finished my Master’s degree, confirming that it wasn’t just a hazy memory of papers, quizzes, and tests. The day before Husband and I were going out of town, I got a slip to pick up a “large, oversized envelope” at the post office. I called the post office and told them that we were going out of town, and I asked them to hold this “large envelope” with our other mail. When we got back, I went to the post office and picked up our mail. All of our mail was there, except for the “large envelope.” They gave me the name and phone number of the woman at the post office that handles the packages, and they told me to call her later that afternoon. I got in touch with her, and I explained the story. She said, “Oh wait, was it a large, oversized envelope?” Yes, I replied. “And it was from a university? It looked like a diploma, maybe?” Yes! That’s the one! “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but because no one picked it up, I sent it back yesterday.” Noooooo! I contacted my University rep, explained the situation, and apologized profusely. I asked her if she wouldn’t mind sending it back, once it was returned to her. I offered to pay the additional postage. She said not to worry, and she’d send it back. After six or seven weeks (I’ve lost count), she still hasn’t gotten it! I can only wonder if someone intercepted my diploma and sold it on the black market. (And, if such a market for advanced degrees exists, how much would it take for me to pick up a PhD?? I’d be willing to pay top dollar. Kidding, of course.) Anyway, she is going to re-order my diploma and send it to me. Remind me not to go out of town when it’s supposed to arrive.